


It's Easy Hiding In The Dark

by remanth



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 22:09:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16355192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remanth/pseuds/remanth
Summary: Dean has to leave off researching to deal with a headache. Castiel helps ease the pain





	It's Easy Hiding In The Dark

**Author's Note:**

> I was given a fic title prompt on tumblr and this is the fic I wrote to go along with the title

Not bothering to turn his light on as he stalked into his room, Dean threw himself on his bed. He rubbed a hand over his face, silently cursing the headache that was pounding behind his eyes. It had been building for the last several hours of research and staring at the little words in the books had not helped. Nor had Castiel.

Well, no, not really. Cas had been a huge help with research. But having him there, so close but not being able to touch, was pure torture. Not that an angel would ever let a ruined human like him touch him. No. Even with the little things that Cas sometimes did or the way they’d touch after being injured, there was no way a heavenly being would want that. Want him.

Dean groaned quietly and turned to his side. He curled up around himself, one hand spread over his forehead in a vain attempt to ease the headache. It had finally gotten to be too much. The headache, his wants, Cas being so near and yet so far. It was easier, here, in the darkness of his bedroom. It was nice, having an interior room with no windows. While he’d learned to sleep with the random light and stuff that filtered in through motel room windows, this total darkness was pure bliss.

This was his problem, not Cas’s. His wants, his desires, his sins. His fault he wasn’t pure enough for an angel. He’d made choices and those had ruined him. Blackened his soul until he wasn’t worthy of being saved. An echo in Castiel’s voice ran through his mind and Dean groaned again. He wanted to believe, he really did. But what he did, all the lives he’d lost as a hunter. The only thing he could do now was save as many people as he could to try and balance the scales. Falling in love with an angel didn’t factor into that.

Oh shit. Dean froze as he reviewed his last couple thoughts. Yep, he’d thought what he’d thought he had. He was in love with Cas. For the second time, Dean groaned. This was exactly what he needed. Wanting Cas, being attracted to him, okay he could deal with that. Keep it all to himself and keep working. But love? Love was harder and Dean was selfish when it came to the people he loved. When he loved, he made sure the people he loved knew. But now, he couldn’t.

Oh well. There was nothing for it but to continue on as if his entire world hadn’t been rocked. As if he hadn’t fallen in love with the scruffy, scrappy, sarcastic angel who’d made a home with them. Having Cas here, having him as a friend, would have to be enough.

A knock on his door startled Dean out of his thoughts. For a moment, he stared in the general direction of the door through the darkness. Was it Sammy or Cas? What did they want? Did they have to show up now of all times? He was going through some world-changing epiphanies right now.

“Yeah?” Dean called, his voice a little hoarse with the pain of his headache.

“Dean, can I come in?” Cas’s voice came through the door. He sounded a little worried and Dean felt a pang of guilt at that.

“Sure,” Dean said. The door opened and a spear of light from the hallway smashed into his eyes. He groaned again and continued quickly, “Don’t turn the light on.”

Cas didn’t reply but the door closed and the room stayed blissfully dark. Dean heard footsteps move closer and felt Cas stop next to his bed. Now that he’d admitted to himself that he was in love, it was as if Dean could feel Cas no matter where he was.  
“Are you all right?” Cas asked quietly. “You were pale when you walked out of the room.”

“Headache,” Dean replied. Along with a few other things. “Just a bad headache. A nap should help.”

“I might be able to relieve some of the pain,” Cas offered. His voice was casual, diffident, but Dean fancied he could hear something else under it. Or maybe he was imagining it. “If you like.”

“Sure,” Dean said after a few silent moments. “Go ahead and try.”

The bed sank as Cas sat down on the edge. He didn’t speak again. Instead, he reached out and found Dean’s shoulder. His fingers rested for a moment before sliding up and splaying out over the back of Dean’s neck. Rubbing slowly, Cas worked out where the tension was. There was a knot at the base of Dean’s skull and a trio of knots that fanned over his neck and towards his shoulders.

Time passed in a slow, liquid, warm way. Cas continued to work on the knots in Dean’s neck, enjoying the touch of skin to skin. It wasn’t often he found a reason, an excuse, to touch Dean that wouldn’t give away the depths of his love for the Righteous Man, so he was planning on taking full advantage of this one. And it had the added benefit of easing Dean’s pain. Cas had been in love with Dean since the moment he’d rescued him from Hell. When he’d left the mark of his handprint on Dean’s shoulder, when Dean had held on as they rose from the pit, Cas had fallen for him. He hadn’t had the words at the time but now he did. And there was nothing he could do about it.

He sighed silently when Dean made a soft noise of relief as one of the trio of knots finally released. At least here was something he could do for the human he loved. Shifting a little, Cas used both hands to massage Dean’s neck. And he would commit every detail of this moment to memory to hold and remember later.

As the first knot eased, Dean couldn’t help a small sound that slipped out of his mouth. The headache actually decreased a little as it did. Now he didn’t quite feel like a vise was squeezing his eyes. Plus, there was the added benefit of having Cas’s fingers on his skin. They were warm and steady and sure, massaging away the knots that had gathered in his neck. The darkness in the room gave the whole thing a kind of surreal, dreamlike feeling that Dean surrendered himself to willingly. It was easier, here in the dark. It was easier when Cas couldn’t read the love Dean knew was written all over his face. Then the knot at the base of his skull released. A wave of tingles flowed down Dean’s spine as the back of the headache was broken. And the endorphins were probably to blame for the next words that came out of his mouth.

“Oh god, that feels so much better,” Dean murmured. “I love you, Cas.”

The fingers on the back of his neck froze. A sinking pit opened in Dean’s stomach and he gritted his teeth. Son of a bitch, he knew better than that. He knew how to keep his thoughts to himself. Now what? Cas was gonna be offended and stalk off or be clueless and still leave. And Dean had probably damaged the friendship they had. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, to try and salvage the situation when Cas’s fingers started moving again.

“I’m glad, Dean,” Cas replied, his voice as soft as Dean’s. “I love you too.”

Dean couldn’t think of anything to say to that. He couldn’t think of anything to say at all, really. It felt like his speech had disappeared. But that was all right. They’d said everything they needed to, he thought. And Cas’s fingers were speaking in a language all their own as they massaged out the last of the knots. And didn’t stop moving. Instead, their touch turned soft, gentle, loving. Dean leaned into Cas’s fingers and savored.


End file.
